LGBTQ+ Child Parent Resources

This resource is made for parents who have recently had their child come out to them as LGBTQ+. If this applies to you, proceed to read the following information.

Remember--this is something your child cannot control. Stay calm and supportive; even if it concerns you deep down, and take time to calm down before proceeding with any other actions.

It's natural to feel concerned when your child comes out to you as LGBTQ+, even if you are a supportive person.

Gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual children: Support your child and respect who they like. They cannot control the gender(s) they are attracted to, it just happens naturally. Genetics play a factor in their sexual orientation. Scientific evidence reveals that children who are gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual are likely to have another sibling that is similar to them in that way.

Transgender children: Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT a mental disability or disorder. Scientific evidence has actually suggested that this is an error in genetic code--a mutation. This is not your fault, or your child's fault, and this does not mean having another kid will mean they will be transgender. Advice for transgender children's parents will change depending on the child's age.

Below puberty - Respect the child's beliefs. It could be a phase, confusion, or the real deal. Try addressing to them as the name they wish and use their preferred pronouns.

Puberty just started - Talk to a doctor and your child about puberty blockers. This prevents the child from growing into the unwanted gender.

A while after puberty started - If the child realizes they aren't transgender, they can stop taking puberty blockers and they can continue their normal puberty. If not, it may be a good idea to start discussing hormones of the opposite sex. This is where hormones are injected to encourage puberty growth of the desired sex. (For example, a person who was assigned male at birth, but wishes to become female, may be injected with estrogen.)

Legal age AND fully developed - If the child is sure of their transition, they can get surgeries. These are extremely costly, but LGBTQInnos is willing to cover cost of gender-affirming surgeries for students and employees.

Nonbinary children: Read transgender children. The only difference is you should thoroughly discuss this with your children, as they may not want hormone blockers or surgeries.

Polyamorous children: If your child comes out to you as polyamorous, respect that. Let them be whatever makes them happy, if you truly love them.

Asexual/Aromantic children: If your child comes out to you as asexual or aromantic, follow the same instructions as polyamorous children.

While you may not be able to understand your LGBTQ+ child entirely, just remember your child is their own person and they may do or become things that seem without purpose to you, but for them, it matters. Try to respect their decisions and identity as best as you can, and support whatever they do. Your child will thank you, and you'll be contributing to building a better, more equal society.

Here's a reminder: If you cannot love your child for being LGBTQ+, you were never capable of loving anyone in the first place, even if they are non-LGBTQ+. True love is unconditional, in all occasions.